So im laying here in bed. Oversleept so no class. And this is also the 3rd might in a row that i have dreamed about dan. This is gettin kinda weird

Ugh. Wtf. I think i expect something different than what is ever gonna happen. I guess the 500 cats really is gonna happen

Yaaayyy!!!!! It's Friaday!

hey pplz! miss me much? I know you did! everyone loves Tawnie =]] I'm just sittin here chilling out on my computer, after a long day of...well nothing really. i went to the post office, and than came home, and got ready for Dan to come over. And then he came. It was amazing!!! i love being around that boy. he makes me so happy. idk why. i suppose a lot of it is because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who just wants sex and is actually making a great attempt to make me happy. which I'm not exactly used to, so, like i said. I'm not to sure what to do with this boy. he was here probably 3 hours or so. there was a lot of cuddling, some of which was topless, with a bra; however towards the end it was not. lol. it was great. at first we were just cuddling in my chair, than i was like 'this isn't very comfortable, i think we need to go on my bed', so we did. at first we were just horsin' around. he likes to tackle me. than of course there was some serious tongue action. than we just pretty much laid there and cuddled and than he was like 'remember that offer from before? I'm still up for that if you are.' this is about the time that the shirts ended up on the floor. after a few minutes of that, he started playing with my bra and was like, 'hmmm does this come off to?' and i was like 'sure if you want it to' than he told me that my boobs were perfect; I'm pretty self conscious about my size. that's pretty much the jist of what happened but of course there was more. of course, a girl has to have a few secrets =]]. he did tell me though that he had a great time, and that he is in hopes he can come back before the end of the month, and that he is just as confused as i am. because were not going out, I'm still considered single, and were just friends, but usually friends don't do these things? Idk maybe they do but it certainly feels to me like there may soon be more? i am at least in hopes of this. Keep your fingers crossed!

1/18/10

Hey; haven't written on here in a while. Been pretty busy lately. it started snowing here again today. i wouldn't mind it so much if there wasn't ice underneath it. on my way home from work i slipped and fell. now my hips are killing me lol. i tried to make a blog today dedicated solely to amazing websites and links; but i couldn't figure out how to make it work. sorry pplz. i start school tomorrow. I'm pretty excited. 3 out of 4 of my classes are early in the morning. idk wtf i was thinking to sign up for them that early lol. but now i will only be able to work 2 days out of the week now. well that is to do lunch; idk they may need me to do other things as well. who knows with them. anyway. not sure if i have mentioned this before; but i am now in the culinary arts program. I'm still having my confusions and frustrations with the opposite sex. its not negative necessarily, but it is confusing. Daniel scott finally found closure with his ex, and i have been here giving support and trying to be a good friend. i think I've been doing a good job so far. I'm not totally sure though. hes a little strange; which i love, but because of that i don't know what to do with him. see, he knows i really like him, and he knows that i havent had much experience with guys who don't just want to get into my pants. I suppose what I'm confused about is what he wants from me. or even if he does want something from me. does he just want to be friends? i mean, after we've made out several times and have cuddled, that seems a little bit more than friends; but yet he keeps saying he doesn't want that. so what exactly am i supposed to do? i know what i want but he doesn't seem to be wanting that. hes had a really hard time this past week. he brought the rest of his ex gf's stuff back down, and finally had some closure i guess. idk. i wish he did. its so strange though; he drives me crazy! and i can tell i at least turn him on a little; Ive gotten him pretty hard a few times. but I'm not sure; i guess ill just keep trying to be patient. its not like there are any other guys I'm interested in at the moment. but I'm excited for Friday. he is going over to the college to get some stuff done, than is coming over to my house. Hopefully. his plans have changed before. i really hope they don't this time though. supposedly he is coming over and were gonna order a pizza or something, and cuddle and watch movies. initially we were going to do this shirtless; but he doesn't think he could control himself; and personally i don't think i could either. i suppose we will just have to wait and see what happens. Wish me luck!

Amazing websites

http://lovemeow.com/2009/11/amazing-cat-hand-painting-art/#more-6181 Amazing hand paintings. http://evilnine.preloaded.com/ You know its awesome

Frustrations With the Opposite Sex

Hey, just me again. Not going to work again today, just cuz. I feel so depressed lately. Idk why. There’s been a bunch of shit going on but there always is so I don’t see why it is bothering me now.

You see; last night I was talking to Dan and at the same time talking to his best friend on aim. So I was talking to his friend about Dan, which really wasn’t working out well because he wanted me to cyber with him. Ugh.

I don’t understand. Dan has been over to my house several times, he’s fixed my computer here at the house, and he has even kissed me on several occasions. In addition to that he has pretty much tackled me to the floor and held me. Last night I found out from him that he is over his ex. This is pretty much what I had been waiting for, and was under the impression that I finally had a chance with him.

But yesterday I kind of pissed him off by trying to get him to talk to me. I admit it probably was a little over board, but still. I don’t know. It’s so frustrating. I don’t know what to do with men; it’s so irritating. I thought we had something but evidently not. I was trying to get him to come over on Saturday, and offered to pay for some gas, but I don’t know if he will now.

According to his friend aka Blondie, he doesn’t think there was anything there anyway, and doesn’t think that there was anything there in the first place. I don’t know if he knew what he was talking about or was just saying that because he wanted me to talk dirty to him.

So here is my plan. I’m pretty sure he will get online at least at some point today, so I’ll just wait for one of them to IM me. We’ll see what happens I suppose. Wish me luck!

Haven't posted on here in a few days, there goes my goals of writing something every day. since last time i have rung in the new year, and been trying to prepare for the upcoming school semester, which is becoming quite diffucalt due to pplz lack of doing their jobs right. still havent talked to my mother in what seems like forever. theres so much family drama going on up there now. maybe i need to go get knocked up to and be just like my big sisters!!! than i can hook up with a guy who can beat the shit out of me so i can go and live with mommy and steal all of her attention to. God. fuckin pathetic thats what that is. anyway....enough of that....not sure what else to write about. still having complications with getting dan to come see me. i guess he owes his parents alot of money so he has to pay it off. so i dunno. now im pretty much just bored and am writing about random things. since they really have no meaning, i shall be done.